This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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