she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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