i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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