He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
