we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
