she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
