We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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