u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
