Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
