yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
