so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
