this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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