Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
