All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
