No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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