Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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