shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
