Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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