it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
