stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
