He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize