If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
