Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
