No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
