Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
