you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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