I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize