wat bout pragnant strippers??
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
