Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
