I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
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