Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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