On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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