Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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