I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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