Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
