Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
