mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
