she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
