Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
