I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
