god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
