also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
