Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
