it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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