If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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