But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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