Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
