sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
