I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize