i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
