I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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