dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
