I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
