I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize