The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
