But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
