i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
a search helicopter?!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
